Unexpected Discovery
by LibraryGirl
Summary: Two best friends on a road trip find themselves in the middle of nowhere. Stopping for directions, they make an "unexpected discovery." Rated R for language.
1. The Adventure Begins...

Unexpected Discovery

Disclaimer: In no way whatsoever do we own Final Fantasy VIII or any characters therein.  We own the characters Ayla and Jessi.  Jessi would, however, like to own Zell, but that's another story.  *grin*  Also, Ayla owns her new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla.  Also, also, if you have a problem with things being mentioned repeatedly, don't read this story.  Also, also, also, it's all humor!  We do not have anything against fat, old greasy men who live in trailers.

And the adventure begins….

After spending a good 8 and a ½ hours driving around in Ayla's new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla, we find our heroines somewhere in the middle of a desert somewhere in the western part of the United States of America.  To make it more clearly, we find them somewhere very far away from home sweet home, Georgia.

Jessi looks out her window nervously. "Where are we?"

Ayla shrugs and continues driving. "Does it look like I know?"

Sighing, Jessi leans back in her seat. "Maybe we should stop and ask for directions."

"Or we could just keep driving," says Ayla.

"Well, I have to use the restroom," complains Jessi.

"I told you to go before we left."

Jessi rolls her eyes. "Let's just stop and ask for directions.  Please?"

Ayla sighs with annoyance and reluctantly turns onto a dusty road, pulling into an even dustier driveway, which leads to what looks like an old abandoned trailer.  She stops her new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla and climbs out. "If anyone steals my new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla, Jessi, you are so dead."

Jessi ignores Ayla and walks up to the trailer. She knocks on the door, and a fat, greasy old man holding a beer can comes to the screen door. "What do ya want?" he snarls.

Jessi smiles politely and looks back to Ayla for help.  Ayla pays her no attention and continues to guard her new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla with her life. "Um…we were hoping that maybe you could tell us where we are."

The fat, greasy old man holding a beer can grins, revealing his nasty looking teeth. "Yer out in the middle of nowhere.  Where'd ya expect to be?"

"Could you give us more specific details than that?" Jessi asks impatiently.

The man shrugs. "I ain't tellin' ya nothin' else till I see some cash."

Jessi sighs with defeat. "Look, I don't have very much money.  But can I at least use your restroom?"

Ayla laughs from her new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla. "Jess, you do NOT want to use that man's bathroom!" she calls.

"But I really gotta go!" Jessi whines.

The man laughs, exposing his nasty smelling breath. "Sure, lil' lady, you can use my restroom.  It's out back."

Jessi gives the man a strange look but thanks him before heading to the back of his trailer.  She sees a shabby looking outhouse and looks at it with disgust.  _Or I could just hold it_, she thinks to herself.  _But I really gotta go_.  She decides to risk it and go.  But before she can do what she needs to do, she notices a dark purple vortex looking thingy coming from the hole.  She screams with fright and runs back out to find Ayla.  "AYLA! You have to see this!"

Ayla is still standing by her new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla. She looks at Jessi with disbelief. "No, Jessi, I do not want to see what you did back there.  Just get in my new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla so we can go."

Jessi shakes her head. "There's something extremely weird back there."

"Big surprise," Ayla says sarcastically.

"No, I mean, you have to come see it." Jessi pulls Ayla to the back of the trailer and to the outhouse.  "Do you see the dark purple vortex looking thingy?"

Ayla cautiously looks inside the outhouse, immediately scrunching her nose at the smell.  "God, Jessica, what did you do?"

"I didn't get to go, so I didn't do anything. Just look at the dark purple vortex looking thingy."  

Ayla, noticing the dark purple vortex looking thingy, says, "Whoa…what the fuck is that?"

Jessi shrugs.  "I just saw it."

"I wonder why it's here."

"Only one way to find out," Jessi says boldly.

"You're kidding, right?" Ayla asks in disbelief.

Jessi shakes her head before jumping into the dark purple vortex looking thingy.

Ayla's jaw drops and looks into the dark purple vortex looking thingy.  "Leave it up to white folks to always go and do something stupid." Ayla sighs and looks into the dark purple vortex looking thingy again.  She shakes her head and takes a deep breath before jumping into the dark purple vortex looking thingy also.

*Twilight Zone music plays*  What will happen to our two heroines?  What does the dark purple vortex looking thingy lead to?  Will the fat, old greasy man steal Ayla's new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla?  Stay tuned to find out.

Jessi: Hi everyone!  LoL.  I'm really cracking myself up with this fic.  I think I was high when I began writing this.  Well, I began writing it a few minutes ago, so maybe I still am high.  *crazy laugh*  If you're wondering when FF8 comes in, it'll be in the next page; hold yer horses!  ^_^  Yes, I am the crazy white girl who jumped into the dark purple vortex looking thingy.  And Ayla's the sensible African American girl who waited 5 seconds before following.  LoL.  I hope y'all are liking it.  Please review!  ~jess~


	2. The Adventure Continues...

Howdy everyone!  I'm back to continue on with my little story.  Thank you to the one person who reviewed!  You rock!  I would just like to tell everyone that the only reason Ayla's new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla kept being mentioned is because she is so obsessed with that car!  Her parents got it for her a few days ago, and you would not believe how many times she just throws it into our conversations!  Sheesh!  But anyway, I just wanted to clear that up.  All right then, shall we continue?  Oh, there probably won't be any repetition of things in this one. 

Disclaimer: In no way whatsoever do we own Final Fantasy VIII or any characters therein.  We do, however, own Ayla, Jessi, and Ayla's new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla.  Is everyone clear on that?  Good.  If not, go away.

The adventure continues…

When we left off, our heroines had stopped to ask for directions and use the restroom, in doing so, they found a dark purple vortex looking thingy and jumped in.  What will become of them?  Let's continue.

The dark purple vortex looking thingy opens up in the ceiling of some unidentified place, dropping Ayla and Jessi to the floor with a thud.  *AN: I know they jumped in at different times, but for the sake of the story, they landed at the same time.

"Mother fuc…" Ayla begins but is cut off by a shriek from Jessi.

"Ayla!" Jessi screams. "Do you know where we are?" She looks around the place with delight.

"No, I don't.  Where are we?" Ayla asks, uninterested.

"Look around!  It looks very familiar, doesn't it?" Jessi says.

Ayla sighs and looks around, still having no idea where they are.  "Jet Skis, I don't know what you're talking about, but…."

"ZELLIE!" Jessi interrupts Ayla for a second time.  She runs past Ayla to a young man with spiked blonde hair.  Jumping into his arms, she says, "Ayla, look, it's Zellie!"

'Zellie' looks at the stranger in his arms. "My name's Zell, not Zellie," he says, although he isn't mad.

Ayla studies the man for a few seconds. "Zell Dincht?  How the hell did we get here?  Jessica, what did you do?!" She asks, looking around to finally discover they are right smack dab in the middle of the Final Fantasy VIII Balamb Garden 1st Floor Lobby.

Jessi, who is lost in her own world staring at Zell, ignores her.

"How do you know who I am?" asks a very confused Zell. "And who are you?"

"I'm your soul mate from another dimension, Zellie," Jessi says, looking at Zell dreamily, still in his arms.

"Why is she calling me that?"

Ayla laughs and shakes her head. "She's just a little obsessed.  I'd be careful around her if I were you.  Wait, if I were you, I'd be scared to be around her."

Zell looks at Ayla and then Jessi. "I'm confused.  Do you want some hotdogs?"

"I love hotdogs!" says Jessi, even though after Ayla told her what was really in hotdogs, she had tried to stop eating them.

"Do you know what's in hotdogs?" Ayla asks Zell.

"No, don't tell him!" Jessi says dramatically.  "Let him be happy, eating his beloved hotdogs."

"Are you gonna put her down?" Ayla asks.

Jessi holds tighter to Zell. "You can't take me away from my Zellie!"

Ayla shakes her head. "I wish you the best of luck trying to get her off of you."

Zell shrugs and they make their way to the cafeteria, getting strange looks from students in the hall.

"Hey, Jess, you do know that he has a girlfriend, right?" reminds Ayla.

Jessi's eyes tear up. "You don't have to remind me." She snuggles closer to Zell, still in his arms.

"Actually, we broke up this morning," says Zell, almost proudly.

Jessi giggles and sticks her tongue out at Ayla.

Ayla rolls her eyes. "Even so, we have to get back to our own dimension and rescue my new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla."

Jessi is ignoring Ayla, staring at Zell, and Zell is concentrating on getting to the cafeteria.

Ayla sighs and follows, wondering how they got here and how they're going to get back.

*Balamb Garden music plays*  So we find our two lovely heroines in Final Fantasy VIII Balamb Garden.  How did they manage that?  Oh, and who the hell said there was going to be any romance in this story?  Don't worry, there might not be any besides Jessi innocently trying to pinch Zell's butt.

Jessi: So there we go with Final Fantasy VIII coming into the picture.  I know this wasn't exactly funny, but we're getting there.  Any questions or comments?  Review!!  And yes, as a matter of fact, I am desperately in love with Zell.  It's pretty sad when you think about it, but I can't help it.  My friend, Bob the faerie/fairy, will explain it to you.

Bob: Hello everyone.  Jessi asked me to explain to you her love for Zell.  Well, it all began as an innocent infatuation with his personality.  I guess she found it attractive that he acted pretty much the same way she does, energetic and sometimes not thinking of consequences.  But then, it obviously turned into something more.  Yes, she is aware that he is merely a figment of someone's imagination, but she can't help but feel a connection with the young man.  And this, my friends, explains Jessi's love for Zell.

Jessi: Thank you, Bob.  I couldn't have said it better myself. (gives Bob a faerie/fairy-sized cookie)


	3. The Adventure Still Continues...

Back again!  I've never been as dedicated to a story as I am with this one.  I'm having the most fun writing this one.  It keeps me smiling.  Much thanks to my friendly reviewer, Lyaka.  You're funny!  You can have Seifer.  But ya better watch out, I've been reading some stories around here, and it seems like Quistis has her claim on him.  ^_^  Anywho, I'll continue on with the story.

Disclaimer: NO!  We do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any characters therein.  (as annoying as the disclaimer is, I love saying "therein."  It makes me feel special.)

The adventure still continues…

When we left off, our heroines discovered themselves to be in Balamb Garden of Final Fantasy VIII.  Jessi attached herself to Zellie, and Ayla is confused about how they got there from a dark purple vortex looking thingy to Balamb Garden.  Shall we continue?

After Zell takes them to the cafeteria for hotdogs, all three are disappointed to see that all hotdogs have already been sold and eaten.  Well, Ayla wasn't really disappointed because she doesn't really like hotdogs.  But anyway, Zell decided to be a nice guy and introduce Ayla and Jessi to his friends, Squall and company.

"Jessi, get out of Zell's arms," says Ayla, as Zell leads them to a table where Squall and company are sitting.

"Why?" Jessi pouts.

"Because they're all giving us strange looks, and they might think you're a slut," Ayla says, matter-of-factly.

Jessi gasps. "They might think that?"

Ayla nods and Jessi promptly jumps from Zell's arms.

"I'm sorry Zellie, but I have a reputation to keep," Jessi explains.

Zell nods as if he understands. "Well, these are my friends.  That's Squall."

Squall says, "Whatever." 

"That's Rinoa clinging to Squall as if her life depended on it," says Zell.

Rinoa says, "Hi!  I'm a sorceress, and I finally got inside Squall's head and got him to talk more."

"Whatever," says Squall again.

"You were useless in the game," Ayla blurts out suddenly.

Rinoa shrugs as if she doesn't care, even though she has no idea what Ayla is talking about.

"That's Quistis," continues Zell.

"You will bow down to me and respect me or so help me, I will whip you with my whip!" Quistis laughs evilly.

"That's Seifer coloring in a color book," Zell says.

Seifer looks up at the mention of his name and holds his picture up proudly. "Look!  I colored Big Bird blue, when he's really yellow." He begins to giggle like a child.  "I so funny."

"I thought he was bad," whispers Jessi to Ayla.

Zell, who overheard, says, "Oh, he was.  But that was only because Selphie gave him his chocolate milk with a straight straw, when he really wanted a crazy, curly straw.  Now we have everything figured out, and Seifer is back to his normal self."

"I like pink fluffy clouds and purple dinosaurs who sing," Seifer announces.

"That boy is really fucked up," says Ayla.

Seifer squeals. "Ooo!  She said a dirty word!  I'm gonna tell my mommy!"

"Does it look like I give a shit?" Ayla asks, undaunted by the threat.

Zell clears his throat and continues. "That's Irvine, trying to get the lunch lady's phone number."

Irvine, who heard his name, comes to be introduced to Ayla and Jessi. "Howdy." He tips his hat politely.

"Hey, I thought you were from Australia," says Jessi.

Everyone looks at her like she's crazy.

"Well, he has the long duster looking thing that I've never seen a cowboy wear and the hat that doesn't look like a cowboy hat," Jessi explains.  She shrugs.  "But I guess if you're a cowboy, you're a cowboy."

Zell shrugs also and continues onward, "And last but not least, there's Selphie." He points to an eager looking brunette who is skipping around the cafeteria.  When she bounces into a trashcan, she seems unfazed by the obstacle and continues skipping.

"What is she doing?" asks Ayla.

"Selphie's actions aren't explainable," says Quistis, snapping her whip. "But you all will bow down to me!"

"What is her problem?" Jessi asks.

"Don't ask," says Zell.

"Whatever," says Squall.

"Lookie!  I colored Elmo green, when he's really red!" Seifer says, pointing to his picture.

"I love you, Squally," says Rinoa, trying to steal a kiss from Squall.

"…."

"Are we really here?" Ayla asks, not believing that the only characters that act the way they do in the game are Squall and Zell.  "This is ridiculous."

*Balamb Garden music is still playing*  What will become of our heroines?  Will Seifer ever get his colors right?  Will Selphie learn to try decaf next time?  Will Quistis ever get her power?  Will Squall talk?  Will Rinoa finally realize that Squall isn't ready for commitment?  When will the madness end??  Stay tuned to find out.

Jessi: Hiya!  Me again.  Okay, I'll admit, I'm not the best at writing humor, so you'll have to forgive me.  But I'd like to ask for some reader participation.  If you have any ideas or suggestions, please feel free to review!  If you don't, I'll have to get power-hungry Quistis on you!  And we all know her Save the Queen can be dangerous.  Oh, I'd like to apologize if I offended any Squall fans, any Rinoa fans, and Squall&Rinoa fans, Quistis fans, any Seifer fans, and Irvine fans, or any Selphie fans.  It's all humor people!  Anywho, my Zellie calls, and I must go.  See y'all later!  


	4. And The Adventure Is Still Continuing...

Hey everyone!  I'm back!  And I know y'all missed me!  lol.  Well, I'm here to add more to our little adventure.  Oh, Ayla wanted me to tell everyone that she's looking for someone to pump her gas.  See, she has this new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla, but she doesn't know how to pump gas, so she needs some help.  Thanks to all of my wonderful reviewers and your suggestions!  I will try to add all of y'all's suggestions in here somehow.  Thank you again!  Y'all rock!  ^_^

Disclaimer: Nope, we don't own Final Fantasy VIII or any characters therein. *giggle*

And the adventure is still continuing…

When we left off, our heroines and Zell had met up with the rest of the FF8 gang.  Squall seemed annoyed, Rinoa seemed unbearable, Quistis wanted attention, Seifer was "trying" to learn his colors, Irvine was hitting on a cafeteria lady, and Selphie was skipping over trashcans.  (Jessi: psst…hey, Bob, did I get everyone?….Bob: Uh…yeah, it looks like it.)  What will come up next for our beloved heroines?  Let's continue onward.

After making introductions, Zell decides to introduce Jessi and Ayla to Headmaster Cid and Lady Kramer.  When Zell announces this, Ayla gets very excited because Edea was her role model. _Was_ being the keyword there, because Ayla only liked her when Edea was evil and possessed. 

But before they can go, Squall suddenly snatches Seifer's crayons away, annoyed that Seifer can't color correctly. "It's for your own good!" says Squall.

Seifer, angry that someone took away his favorite crayons, begins to cry for a few seconds before standing up.  He puffs out his chest and gives Squall a mean look. "Gimme my crayons!"

"No," says Squall.

"Now!" says Seifer.

"No!"

"Now!"

"No!"

"Now!"

"No!"

Seifer, getting more upset, swiftly reaches out and punches Squall in the jaw. "Gimme my crayons!"

"Hey!  They're fighting!" says Ayla happily.  "I'm betting on Seifer!"

"Why Seifer?" asks Jessi. 

"He's really pissed and wants his crayons back," Ayla replies.

"Oh. I won't bet against that." Jessi goes over and stands with Zell.

"I want my crayons back!" Seifer yells angrily. He punches Squall again before kicking him really hard in the shin.

"OW! You son of a bitch!" Squall exclaims, rubbing his hurting shin.

"Now, Squally, you remember what we talked about and how not to use that kind of language around him," Rinoa says sweetly, trying to pull Squall away from Seifer.

"WAIT!" screams Selphie from the other side of the cafeteria. "I know how to calm Seifer down!" She quickly hops to where everyone is, holding a cup of milk. "He just needs regular milk. I accidentally gave him chocolate milk, forgetting that it made him act like a child." She hands Seifer the cup of regular milk.

He takes a long gulp, and when he's finished, he gives everyone a callous look. "What the fuck are you guys staring at?"

The others look around innocently and begin to whistle. Ayla frowns with disappointment, seeing that Squall and Seifer aren't going to fight because Seifer is now back to his normal self. "Hey, could you still fight him though?" she asks hopefully.

"Who?  Puberty-boy?" Seifer smirks.

Squall's eyes narrow with anger. "Shut the hell up!"

"Or I could kick Chicken-Wuss' ass," Seifer says, smirking again.

This time, Jessi gets angry. "Do not call my Zellie a chicken-wuss, you… you big meanie!"

Seifer laughs. "And what would you do if I do call him a chicken-wuss?"

"I'll kick your ass!" says Jessi.

Ayla gasps. "But she never curses! Isn't today Sunday, Jess?"

"I don't care even if it is! He called my Zellie a chicken-wuss. Stupid motherfuckingsonofabitch! I'm not afraid of you!" Jessi approaches Seifer, ready to fight.

Ayla, not wanting her friend to get hurt, considering Jessi still has her PlayStation, pulls her away. "Come on. We're going to meet Edea and Cid. Won't that be exciting?"

Zell takes Jessi's right hand, holding it tightly in his own. "Don't let him get to you."

Jessi gives Seifer one last mean look before she realizes that Zell is holding her hand. "Ohmygod…" she mutters, looking down at their hands. "He's holding my hand."

Ayla and Zell lead her away out of the cafeteria and back into the main lobby, where they go up the stairs to the elevator.

*Balamb Garden music is still playing until Jessi hits the CD player with a baseball bat. She looks at the now destroyed stereo, annoyed. "I specifically asked for System of a Down!" she says.*  Could Jessi kick Seifer's ass?  (Bob: 20 bucks says she couldn't). Will Ayla get Edea's autograph?  What will happen next in this little adventure?  Will anyone ever realize that these two girls aren't from around here?  Stay tuned to find out.

Jessi: Hiya! Well, I hope y'all are enjoying it. Once again, if anyone has any suggestions, please review. I want my System of a Down gosh dammit!  Oh, if y'all didn't get the thing about me cursing, and then Ayla said something about it being Sunday, that's not really an inside joke. Don't worry. I just have this thing about not cussing on Sundays. If you knew me better, you might understand. lol. Anywho, thanks for reading this exciting tale; check back soon for updates. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find Bob and kick his ass for betting against me. Ciao! *my, there was a lot of cursing in this one, wasn't there? Sorry folks!*


	5. Yes, The Adventure STILL Continues!

Good evening!  Do y'all think I'm too perky?  I was thinking about it a little while ago and reading over all that I've put up so far, and I thought y'all might get that impression of me.  Oh well.  Ya either like me or ya don't.  Well, I'm here to update.  Ayla and her parents went on vacation to Savannah.  *pout*  I wanna go!  But oh well.  Oh, speaking of Ayla, I want to apologize to A Voice in the Wind.  I'm sorry about her response to your review about her car.  She gets really possessive about her car.  Thanks for y'all's reviews; I really appreciate it.  Okay…on with the story!

Disclaimer: None of the Final Fantasy VIII characters mentioned belong to us. 

The adventure is continuing…

When we left off, our heroines and Zell had left the cafeteria to find Headmaster Cid and Edea/Matron.  (Jessi: Bob, is there anything else I need to say?….Bob: Nope, I think you're good.  Just continue on with the story.)

When they make it to the elevator, Jessi demands that she be the one to push the button.

"You're so childish," says Ayla, rolling her eyes as Jessi pushes the 'up' button.

"Whatever," Jessi says.

"I just want to meet Edea/Matron and leave," says Ayla. "I don't even know why we're here."

The elevator dings, scaring Jessi who had been too busy smiling at Zell to pay attention.

Ayla sighs and steps onto the elevator.  "Come on!"

Jessi and Zell follow.

"Why is he being so quiet?" Jessi asks Ayla as Zell pushes the 3rd floor button.

Ayla shrugs and examines her nails. "Maybe you scared him."

"I didn't mean to.  I'm a really big fan of his."

"I know."

Jessi shrugs.

Zell begins to whistle the tune to the Oscar Mayer song.

"How does he know that song?" asks Jessi.

"Why do you keep asking me about him?  Ask him!" says a very annoyed Ayla.

"Sorry."

The elevator dings, and the doors open.  They step out.

"Hey, wouldn't it be cool if Edea/Matron suddenly went evil again?" Ayla asks, clapping her hands with excitement.

Zell looks at her like she's crazy. "That would be terrible!"

"But it'd be so cool!" argues Ayla.

Jessi smiles and clings to Zell's arm. "Don't mind her. She misses her new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla."

Zell shrugs and leads them to Headmaster Cid's office. He knocks and opens the door before Cid has a chance to give them permission. They find Edea/Matron sitting on the desk looking very upset and Cid cowering in the corner. 

Ayla jumps up and down. "EDEA! I'm your biggest fan. Ohmygod…. I love you! You're my role model, and I want to be like you!" She goes over to Edea and gives her a hug.

Edea/Matron looks at Ayla and cautiously returns the hug. She smiles. "Thank you, child."

Ayla nods happily. 

"Why is Cid in the corner?" Jessi asks, looking at Cid.

Edea/Matron smiles evilly. "He scared of me."

"Why?" Ayla, Zell, and Jessi all ask at the same time.

This time, Edea/Matron laughs evilly. "Because I've suddenly gone evil again. Muahahahahahaha….!" She stands up off the desk and twirls around, suddenly changing into the dress she had on when she was evil and possessed.

Zell gasps, Jessi leaps into his arms for fear, and Ayla laughs and claps her hands again. 

"Come along, child, we have some destruction to cause," Edea/Matron says to Ayla.

"Yes ma'am!" 

Edea/Matron and Ayla then proceed to leave the office and go down in the elevator.

Zell and Jessi take the elevator when it comes back, leaving Cid to be the scaredy-cat that he is.

When they make it to the 1st floor, they see Edea/Matron going down the hall with Ayla following. A poor student stands in Edea's/Matron's path and gets poked by one of the sharp pointy things on Edea's/Matron's dress. Ayla giggles insanely and continues to follow Edea/Matron.

"Where are they going?" Jessi asks Zell.

Zell shrugs. "I don't know. You wanna go get some hotdogs?"

"I thought they were all out?" Jessi says.

"Maybe they might have some this time."

"But shouldn't we stop Edea/Matron?"

"I think it's just PMS," Zell says, using his best matter-of-fact tone.

Jessi shrugs. "Let's go get some hotdogs then!"

*Jessi's new cd that Ayla burned for her is playing in the background*  Edea/Matron has gone evil again?  Is she possessed again?  If so, by whom is she possessed?  Will we ever find out, or will our heroines be too preoccupied?  Stay tuned for the next episode!

Jessi: I was thinking about something not too long ago.  Do y'all mind me leaving little notes at the end of each chapter?  I hope not.  I like talking.  Anywho, I'm still taking suggestions!  *hint-hint*  And ya know what I noticed today?  Seifer's kinda hot…lol. Just kidding!  Sorry folks.  My heart still belongs to Zell, no need to worry.  ^_^  


	6. Bob Takes Over...

JessiBluEyes: Hola! How is everyone? Everything's good here. I am very bored, so I thought I'd update.

Zell (coming in from nowhere): I bore you?

JessiBluEyes: I thought I told you to stay in my room.

Zell (shrugging): You left, and I got bored.

JessiBluEyes: No, you don't bore me. I just came to write more on mine and Ayla's adventure at Balamb Garden.

Zell: Oh. Hey, you got any hotdogs?

JessiBluEyes: Yeah. Hey, Bob, can you type for me while I go help Zell with the hotdogs?

Bob: Why does he need help? It's not that hard. Anyone can cook hotdogs.

JessiBluEyes (whining): Pllleeeaaassseee!!!

Bob: Okay. Goodness. Don't whine!

JessiBluEyes: Thanks! (goes off with Zell to make hotdogs...or babies...who's keeping track anyway?)  *cheesy grin*  (AN: that was totally uncalled for, but you know me.) Oh, before I go, thanks to all of my wonderful reviewers! I love you! I love you all! *does Miss America wave before Zell drags her off.)

Bob: Okay everyone. Ya know the drill with the disclaimer, and you know where she left off, right? Good, I'll pick up from there....

Disappointed that they still didn't have any hotdogs, Jessi and Zell decided to go bother Squall and Co. again. Quistis was demanding that everyone sign a contract saying that she could boss them around more than she already does. Selphie was still skipping around/over trashcans. Irvine had given up on trying to get the cafeteria lady's phone number. Rinoa was trying desperately (coughUNSUCCESSFULLYcough) to get Squall to admit that he loved her more than anything in the world. Squall was completely and totally ignoring Rinoa. And Seifer? Well, Seifer had busied himself hitting on our newest character, Lyaka.   
  


"Where'd she come from?" Zell asks.

Squall shrugs.

"She just came into the cafeteria, and Seifer saw her and said something about finally being in love," Quistis says before going off to demand that the Trepies sign her contract. The Trepies sign willingly and even offer to sell their soul to Quistis.

"Oh," Zell says.

"We're in love, aren't we, Squally?" asks Rinoa, snuggling closer to Squall, if that's even possible, considering she is now practically sitting in his lap.

Squall ignores her.

"Why are you all still in the cafeteria?" asks Jessi. "Don't you have things to do?"

"Like what?" they all ask at the same time.

"I dunno. Like save Balamb Garden from Edea/Matron...AGAIN!" says Jessi, matter-of-factly.

"I told you, it's just PMS," Zell says.

"What would you know about PMS, Chicken-wuss?" Seifer asks, joining them at the table with his arm around Lyaka's waist.

 Zell rolls his eyes. He turns to Jessi and holds out his hand. "Come on....d'oh." He hits his forehead with frustration. "I don't think I ever got your name."

Jessi smiles and jumps up. "I'm Jessica, but you can call me Jessi. Everyone else does."

"I'll call you...." Zell starts, but Jessi cuts him off.

"You can call me whenever you want."

"No, I'll call you Jessi." He gives her a strange look.

"Oh. Alright."

"Come on, Jessi. Let's find Edea/Matron and that other girl you were with who kept mumbling about her new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla or something like that."

"Her name's Ayla," says Jessi. 

"Okay. Let's go find Edea/Matron and Ayla." Zell waves good-bye to the others before he and Jessi leave the cafeteria in search of Edea/Matron and Ayla.

Bob: There ya go. I don't feel like doing that little thingy she does at the end of each chapter, so there's that. Wait, here comes Jessi now.

JessiBluEyes: Thanks Bob, you're a wonderful friend.

Bob (giving her a suspicious look): You two didn't really make hotdogs, did you?

JessiBluEyes (nervously): Yes, of course we did! What makes you think we didn't?

Bob: You seem awfully suspicious.

JessiBluEyes (ignoring Bob): Well, thanks for reading folks! We'll try to update soon. Oh, before I forget, if y'all were wondering what I was talking about when I said that I thought Irvine was from Australia...I said that because his hat kinda looks like Crocodile Dudee's hat, doesn't it? Well, to me it does. Anywho, I just wanted to clear that up. Once again, thanks for reading!  ^_^  (Yes, I put my new friend, Lyaka, in there 'cause she is the coolest reviewer! Thanks!)


	7. We're Still Continuing!!

Hiya!! I'm back! Bob's not going to type today; when I had him type the last chapter, he got tired very quickly, on the count of him being so small. But he's okay. Hey, Lyaka, a little self-indulgence can't really hurt? *elbow jabs Lyaka back* Thanks for reviewing! We should talk more! ^_^  Anywho, I suppose I'm here to continue on with this little story here. Onward!

While Jessi and Zell were off looking for Edea/Matron and Ayla, this is what happened with them...

Ayla had given Edea/Matron tips for Edea's/Matron's next parade. "I'm willing to let you borrow my new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla! I'll even drive for you."

Edea/Matron beams with delight. "That would be wonderful!"

"Just tell me when you plan on having it, and I'll make sure my baby's extra shiny for ya." Ayla smiles proudly.

"It's a deal," says Edea/Matron. "Where shall we cause destruction first?"

"Well, maybe we could blow up the parking lot! Yeah, 'cause it was really useless in the game. We only went in there two times or so," Ayla says.

"This is no game, Child!" Edea/Matron exclaims indignantly.

"Looky here!" Ayla snaps, suddenly very annoyed that Edea/Matron keeps calling her 'child.'  "My name is Ayla. I suggest you call me by my name, or so help me, I will beat you at your own game. I was very disappointed in you when you lost to Squall and his friends! You could've done better than that."

Edea/Matron just stands dumbfounded by Ayla's sudden outburst. "I'm sorry, Ayla."

Ayla's bad mood disappears. "It's okay. But we should hurry if we want to blow up the parking lot before they come to ruin our plans."

"Indeed." Edea/Matron nods and together they make their way towards the parking lot.

-Meanwhile...-

"So, what was up with you and the library girl with the pigtail? I never got that. I mean, what did you see in her? Did you even know her name? Was she always the 'library girl with the pigtail?' I always wondered. She seemed awfully boring to me..." Jessi is rambling on in her usual manner as Zell looks around the halls suspiciously.

"Shhh! Can't you see I'm trying to plan a sneak attack?" Zell asks, giving Jessi a mean look.

Jessi pouts. "I'm sorry."

Zell sighs and continues onward.

Suddenly, a random person comes running up to Jessi. "You're JessiBluEyes, right?" asks the girl.

Jessi is confused. (Bob's comment: what else is new?) "Yes, that's me. Do I know you?"

The girl blushes. "Not really. I'm Quycksylver. Can you give something to Irvine for me?"

"Um...sure?" Jessi says uncertainly. "He's in the cafeteria if you want to give it to him yourself."

Quycksylver squeals excitedly. "Really?"

Jessi nods. "What do you want to give him?"

"Oh, it's nothing really. Just this piece of paper with my phone number, email address, zip code, SS #, blood type, and measurements. That's all." She blushes. "Thanks." 

"No problem. Good luck."

She giggles again. "Thanks. Bye Jess." She jogs off towards the cafeteria. 

Jessi laughs and begins walking again.

Zell jogs to catch up. "What was all that about?"

"I'm mad at you," Jessi says, crossing her arms.

"Why?" 

"Because you snapped at me."

"I'm sorry. I don't always think before I act..." 

-Meanwhile...-

"Hey Edea/Matron, did you hear the one about the blonde who wanted alligator shoes?" Ayla asks, smiling broadly.

"No, Ayla, I'm afraid I haven't," says Edea/Matron absently, looking around the parking lot to make sure no one's in there. "Do you have a bomb?"

Ayla shakes her head. "No. You're the sorceress. Use your magic or something."

"Cid says we're not allowed to use magic on campus."

"Tch," says a very disappointed Ayla. "Cid's a coward. He'll never know."

"But--"

"Come on!" Ayla urges. "You don't want to let all of your fellow sorceresses down, do you?"

"Well, no, but--"

"No buts! We must destroy something!" says Ayla.

Edea/Matron sighs with defeat. "Oh, all right." She uses her magic (Bob's comments: GASP!) and casts a fire spell on the parking lot. The whole place bursts into flames because of spilt oil and such.

Ayla's eyes widen with excitement. "Ooo...pretty. That was soooo cool. Do it again! Do it again! Do it again!" she begins to chant.

Edea/Matron looks around once again. "Let's go to one of the classrooms!"

Ayla laughs hysterically. "Yeah!"

They leave the burning parking lot and go back into the hallways of Balamb Garden.

*Dun Dun Dunnnnn* Will Edea/Matron and Ayla destroy Balamb before Jessi and Zell can save the day? Well, maybe it won't be Jessi and Zell. It'll probably be Squall. Damn him. Always stealing other people's 15 minutes of fame. Stay tuned for the next episode.


	8. Squall Makes Parties

Hey all! I'm baaaa-aaaack! ^_^  I would like to thank all my faithful readers for reading this far, and I'm sooooo sorry it took me this long to update. I have a really bad procrastination problem. But Anywho, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!  *Oh, I would like to apologize before hand to all the Squinoa fans. I kinda made it seem like Squall doesn't really like Rinoa. ^_^  Sorry folks! Not a big Squinoa fan. They were too close to being brother and sister. *shudder* That freaks me out.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my mind and an annoying little faerie/fairy named Bob.

Unexpected Discovery - Part Eight

Edea/Matron and Ayla are wandering around Balamb Garden, looking for a nice cozy place to cause destruction. Suddenly, Edea/Matron stops in the middle of the hall; right in front of an empty classroom that has 'Chemistry Lab' on one of those plate thingies.

Ayla giggles with excitement and follows Edea/Matron inside. 

The room is filled with Bunsen burners, chemicals, and other fire hazards. 

"Hey! Can you do that Ice Strike thingy?" Ayla asks.

"My Ice Strike thingy? Ohh…Of course!" Edea/Matron does her Ice Strike thingy on the dry erase board. 

"Ooo. Neato. Do it again!"

"I have a better idea." Edea/Matron casts Meltdown on the whole classroom.

Ayla giggles once again. "Cool."

-Meanwhile…-

Squall and Co. is still sitting in the cafeteria (what else is a hero to do?), when he suddenly gets a hero-ish feeling that something terrible has happened. (Ya know the guy's gotta have some kind of Sixth Sense for these kinds of things).

Squall and his hero-ish feeling stand up, and Rinoa falls to the floor because she was so close to him and was not expecting him to stand up.

"Everyone, move out!" he announces.

Quistis, Seifer, Lyaka, Selphie, Irvine, and Rinoa all gasp.

"He said three words!" says Quistis.

"Not his usual, 'Whatever,'" says Seifer.

"I'm impressed," says Lyaka

"Never mind that!" says Squall, very much annoyed. "We have to save Balamb again!"

"From who?" Selphie asks.

"Edea/Matron and that girl she was with."

"Should we split up into parties?" Rinoa is somehow the voice of reason. She attaches herself to Squall's leg. "I'm going with my Squally."

Squall rolls his eyes and looks around at the other five, trying to figure out who will go with who. He definitely didn't want to be with Rinoa, nor did he want to be with Seifer. That left Quistis, the new girl, Selphie, and Irvine. _Wait…where's Zell and that other girl?_ "Where's Zell?"

All of them look around, shrugging their shoulders. 

Our hero rolls his eyes with annoyance, yet he suddenly gets a good idea. "Rinoa, go up to the main office and announce over the loudspeaker that Zell has won a contest, and he can have a life-time supply of hotdogs. "

Rinoa, though she doesn't like the idea of leaving her Squally-poo, leaves the cafeteria.

A few moments later her announcement is heard, "Attention Balamb Garden! My Squally-kins told me to announce to Zell Dincht that he won a lifetime supply of hotdogs. If Zell will please report to the cafeteria…"

Zell is in the cafeteria before Rinoa is able to finish the instructions. He begins to jump up and down excitedly. "I won!"

Jessi sighs and goes to sit down at the table beside Seifer and Lyaka. "I think hotdogs are his main priority in life. I'm just his second."

Seifer shrugs, not really caring. "He's just a chicken-wuss."

Lyaka nods with agreement, snuggling close to Seifer.

"Well, yeah, but he's a cute chicken-wuss," says Jessi.

Squall, thankful that Zell fell for the trick, begins his hero-ish commands. "Here's the plan. Irvine and Quistis will go with me. When Rinoa gets back, she will stay here in the cafeteria. We'll claim it's so she can keep a look out. Got it?" 

They all nod.

"Selphie, Seifer, Zell, Lyaka, and you…" He points to Jessi because he still doesn't know her name, "You all can break into your own parties. I suck at math, and since there is five of you, I am not able to break you into groups of three."

Seifer, Lyaka, and Jessi all roll their eyes.

Squall and his party move out, but someone runs right into them as she quickly tries to make it to the cafeteria. She grumbles incoherently and dusts herself off. She looks up at the party of three and gasps when she sees Irvine.

He smiles slyly at her. "Hey there darlin'. Are ya okay?"

She blushes and nods. 

He peers at her closely while Quistis and Squall shake their heads, knowing they might be there awhile. "Yer not from around here, are ya?"

She shakes her head.

"Can ya talk?"

"Yes."

"What's yer name?"

"Quycksylver."

"Interestin' name ya got there. Would ya like to come with us to save Balamb Garden?"

Quycksylver grins and nods. "That'd be awesome!"

"Alright then." Irvine crooks his arm, and she hooks hers through his. 

"Wait! But now we're a party of four!" Squall says.

"It's not going to make a difference! We'll all end up together anyway," says Lyaka.

Seifer nods, knowing she is correct. "Listen to her, Puberty-Boy."

Squall sighs and decides that just because they're not in parties of three, the job will still get done. "Alright. Everyone, move out!" And Quistis, Irvine, Quycksylver, and Squall all 'move out.'

"He likes saying that, doesn't he?" Lyaka whispers to Seifer.

Seifer shrugs and finishes drinking his regular milk ('cause we all know Seifer needs his calcium!). "Alright everyone. I'm the leader of our party."

"Who says?" Selphie, who has been unusually quiet thus far, asks.

Seifer narrows his eyes at her. "I say. Everyone stay out of my way." He turns to Lyaka. "Except you."

Lyaka giggles and kisses his cheek.

"We're not going to get anything done this way," Selphie says to herself, looking at her party members. Zell has burst into a fit tears because he didn't get his hotdogs, Jessi trying to calm him down, and Seifer and Lyaka are getting mushy. 

Suddenly, Rinoa comes back into the cafeteria and begins to look for her Squally. "Where's my Squally-kins?"

"Um…" They all look around nervously.

"Squall told us to tell you to stay in here to keep an eye out," says Jessi. 

Rinoa pouts. "But I wanna be with Squally!" She sniffs. "But if he wants me to stay in here…"

"Yes! He does want you to stay in here! So…good luck." Jessi smiles and they all leave in a rush, not wanting to explain anything else.

Well, there we have it kids, the latest episode of our adventure. Check back in a bit for the next part! I love you; I love you all! ^_^


	9. Plan To Go Home

Wow! Y'all should consider yourselves lucky, two in one day. Um…Not much to say here. Hope you like the latest installment. ^_^

Disclaimer: If I owned any Final Fantasy characters, do you really think I'd be writing?

Unexpected Discovery - Part Nine

So our heroines/heroes have split into groups and are now wandering around Garden, looking for Edea/Matron and Ayla. They run into Fujin and Raijin along the way.

"GOING?" Fujin asks.

"To save the world!" Lyaka exclaims happily.

"Can we come, ya know?" asks Raijin.

"Sure," says Jessi, not wanting anyone to feel left out.

And Fujin and Raijin have joined the one big party.

Squall and his hero-ish demeanor come to the conclusion that there is trouble in one of the Chemistry Labs. He leads everyone to the classrooms, knowing they'd all get lost if he left them to find it themselves. "Here we are."

Jessi is amazed at how quickly they were able to get there, when it takes her a good five minutes to walk around her school campus, though she has to be at her next class in three minutes, because that's all the time the stupid administrators give to them to change classes.

Squall pulls out his gunblade (Ooo…shiny), and he cautiously looks into the empty chemistry room. He sees that the whole room has been put on Meltdown and is currently melting down. (Who knew?) "They're not in here."

Seifer, very upset at being brought all the way up there for no reason, decides to let his anger be known. He pulls out Hyperion. "I challenge you to a spar, Puberty-Boy."

Squall, not wanting to pass up the chance to kick some major ass, agrees, and they begin to spar.

Lyaka sighs and sits down on the floor of the hallway, being sure to stay out of their way.

"We're never going to get anything done!" Quistis exclaims.

All of the sudden, they can hear someone's excited giggling. 

"Hey, who is that, ya know?" Raijin asks as Seifer and Squall continue to spar.

Jessi jumps up and down. "That's Ayla."

They all, except Seifer and Squall, run towards the giggling. They end up in another empty classroom (It's a Saturday; there aren't any classes), this time it's filled with books and such. (AN: I'm picturing an English class, but I doubt they teach English at Balamb)

Ayla turns, hearing their footsteps. "Jessi! Edea/Matron gave me some of her magic! See, watch!" She casts a Fire spell on a pile of books, immediately turning the pile into a burnt crisp of nothingness.

"Hey! That was pretty cool," Jessi says. "But, Ayla, we're here to stop the evilness!"

"Evilness? We're just relieving stress," explains Edea/Matron calmly.

No one believes her.

"Relieve stress in another way," Quycksylver suggests.

"Yeah. Go get laid," adds Irvine.

Quycksylver and Irvine give each other a knowing look before leaving the classroom to do only gods know what.

"Well…okay then," says Quistis.

"WEIRD," Fujin observes.

They all nod with agreement.

"Now what?" asks Selphie.

They all shrug, not knowing what else to do. Ayla begins to examine her fingernails, wondering what color to paint them when they get back home. Edea/Matron sits on the Instructor's desk and suddenly hits her midlife crisis. Zell begins to hum the Oscar Mayer wiener song again. Jessi elbows him and gives him a mean look. Lyaka discretely wanders from the classroom to look for Seifer. Quistis, deciding there is more excitement elsewhere, leaves the room also. Selphie begins to bounce up and down for no reason. Fujin sighs boredly and kicks Raijin's shin. Raijin curses and holds his shin in pain. 

"Y'all, what are we doing?" Jessi asks impatiently. 

They all shrug again.

"I know!" Edea/Matron says, coming up with a good idea. "Let's look at pictures of the children's childhood at the orphanage!"

"Let's not and say we did," says Ayla. "I want to go home to my new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla."

Jessi nods. "I like it here, but Mom's going to start wondering where I am."

"We need to do something!" Ayla complains. "I'm so fucking bored."

"We should look for a way for you to go home," say Edea/Matron.

"Is all the evilness over?" Cid asks, coming to join them in the room.

"Unfortunately," mumbles Ayla.

"What are you doing now?" he asks.

"Looking for a way for them to go home," says Matron/Edea. (Yup, now she's Matron/Edea 'cause she's good again).

"Wait! I have to use the restroom!" Jessi exclaims suddenly, hopping from one foot to the other. "Really, really bad."

Ayla smiles as an idea comes to mind. "We got here through a portal in a toilet type thing, so maybe we can go _back_ if we find another portal in a toilet type thing."

*gasp* I hate to leave ya on a cliff-hanger type thing, but I honestly can't think of what else to add. _  Sorry. The next part will be my last installment, and I promise I will make it worth your while. I think that's how it goes… Oh well. Oh! 

Fun Fact: When I did SpellCheck, it didn't take Raijin's name, so if I had changed it to what MicrosoftWord wanted it to be, it would've been Raisin's. For some strange reason, that cracks me up.  


	10. Leaving

Hey all! I'm back, and I know ya missed me! ^_^ Okie…I'm not here to ramble, but this will be the final installment to this little piece of craziness I wrote up. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Okie now. Do you really think they belong to me? I didn't think so. But do ya wanna know what I'd do if Zelly belonged to me? *giggle* I didn't think so, either. That's between me and him! ^_-

Unexpected Discovery - Part Ten

Jessi hops from one foot to the other, impatiently peering into the bathroom stall with the others. "You guys! I really gotta go!"

Ayla sighs and rolls her eyes. "Wait till we get back home!"

Now, the reader may wonder why Jessi, Ayla, and Squall & Co. are gathered around a bathroom stall. Trust me, there is a reasonable explanation:

One of the Balamb Garden toilets contains the other end to the dark purple vortex thingy!

Dun Dun Duuuunnnnn!

Ayla raises an eyebrow and looks around. "Where did that come from?"

They all shrug and continue to look at the toilet.

"How come no one ever told me that we have one of these things?" Zell asks, looking closer at the dark purple vortex looking thingy in the toilet.

"We didn't want anyone switching dimensions to skip class," Cid says, matter-of-factly. "You ladies can go home now."

Lyaka hugs Seifer. "I don't want to go home!"

Quycksylver clings to Irvine. "Me neither!"

Ayla looks at Jessi expectantly, waiting for her to put up a big dramatic act about leaving Zell.

Instead, Jessi continues to squirm uncomfortably. "Then y'all can stay here," she says, solving everyone's problems.

Quycksylver and Lyaka are glad with this decision. They giggle and leave the restroom with their men.

"So, all we have to do is just step into the toilet, and we'll go back to our dimension?" Ayla asks, making sure she understands everything.

Cid, Matron/Edea, and the rest of Squall & Co. nod.

"And I can get back to my new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla?"

Jessi rolls her eyes. "Yes! Now let's go so I can get back to…" She pauses, not wanting to say the person's name for the fear that he might read this fic, and she would be utterly embarrassed. She quietly coughs out his name.

The all look at her for a moment and decide to mind their own business.

"Hey! Can I have an autograph?" Ayla asks.

Quistis smiles and pushes through the others out of the way, thinking Ayla wants her autograph. "Of course you can."

Ayla gives Quistis a disgusted look. "I meant from Edea."

Quistis shrugs. "Oh."

Matron/Edea smiles and quickly scribbles her name on a piece of toilet paper.

"Thank you!" Ayla hugs Edea, waves to everyone, and jumps into the toilet, disappearing into the dark purple vortex thingy.

Jessi sighs. "I guess it's my turn now." She looks at her new friends sadly. "It was nice meeting y'all."

"Whatever."

"Squally's my hunny-bunny snookums-pie!"

"Woof!"

"Booyaka!"

"Ya know?"

"AFFIRMATIVE."  
  


"I want hotdogs."

"Well, I guess I'll be on my way." Jessi smiles and gives Zell a quick kiss on the cheek while slipping him a piece of paper. "Call me! Long distance relationships can work!" And with that, Jessi jumps into the toilet, also disappearing into the dark purple vortex thingy.

* * *

The dark purple vortex thingy opens up in the outhouse type thingy and spits Ayla out, followed by Jessi.

Ayla stands and wipes herself off. "That was disturbing."

"It was fun!"

Ayla shrugs and hurries to make sure her new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla is okay. And sure enough, it's still sparkling and shimmering in the bright afternoon sun.

Seeing that it was still daytime, Jessi briefly wonders how long they were gone. But before she can question it too long, the fat, greasy old man comes out of his trailer. 

"What did you kids do back der in mah outhouse?!" he demands.

Jessi and Ayla exchange a look and quickly climb into Ayla's new silver 2003 Toyota Corolla. 

They speed off into the sunset, leaving the dark purple vortex thingy that leads to Balamb Garden and the fat, greasy old man behind. 

**-the end-**

(or is it?)

A/N: Well then…That's over. *sighs with relief* That was a fun story to write, but I am kinda ashamed of it, just because of the stupidness of it all. Good gracious. Well, if you stuck with it that long, I congratulate and thank you. ^_^ But I must warn you, you will be hearing more from me later. Just go check out my other stories! Pwease? Love ya!! ~jess~


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